An Interesting Day Out

As I mentioned in my previous post a painful knee was one factor the prevented me from getting out for a few weeks. But by mid-March I'd had enough and decided I was getting out for the day, come what may. Having decided that the Thursday of the week was the day to go out, what did come on the Monday was a very heavy fall of snow which caused disruption all over the South-East. But, I was determined about this and I told myself that I was going to get dressed and made up on Thursday morning, regardless of whether I could get out of the front door or not. As it turned out, Thursday was the best day of the entire week, so my luck was in.

Where to go?

There is a view that's been expressed in TG circles that it is a good idea when going out to have an aim or objective in mind. This helps to focus the mind and perhaps overcome those nerves that can plague us. It's something I always try to do but on this occasion I just couldn't come up with any idea of what I wanted to do. The weather forecast seem to indicate that it would be warmer in the West, but only just. But it was enough to give me a direction.

Eventually I decided to head for Midhurst in West Sussex, have a wander around the shops and then head into the countryside. As it was, whilst putting my makeup on I realised that I was starting to run low on foundation so, I would head for Boots in Midhurst and buy a replacement. That's rather a long way to go for something I could obtain almost anywhere but at least the day was beginning to take on some direction.

The main route into central West Sussex is via the A272. That might just sound like another UK route number but in these parts it is rather notorious. A glance at a map will show that it stretches from a junction with the A267 in East Sussex to a similar one with the A30 in Hampshire. So it could be said to connect two un-regarded road junctions in the middle of nowhere some 70 miles apart (as the crow flies). In some places the road is made up of good straight former turnpike roads, but in other places it is no more that a series of signposts through small villages and towns. There was a story going around in the 1980s that in the event of the UK getting involved in a continental war the road would be closed to normal traffic and used to move the military to the channel ports. The mind boggles at how the road would have coped with that sort of traffic!

But of course if you want to go west without the delights of the M25 or the Folkestone - Honiton Trunk Road (known around here as the A27) and you're not in too much of a hurry then it is not a bad option. And it does have the advantage of connecting a number of large size towns, as well as the City of Winchester. It was my choice on this occasion, helped by the fact that it passes through the ancient streets of Midhurst. (Try and imagine a fleet of tank transports making their way through here.)

The drive to Midhurst wasn't too bad on this day and a pleasant surprise awaited in the car park when I discovered that the first two hours were free. It's only a year since I was last here and I don't recall free parking then. So, perhaps this is indeed a very rare case of public parking charges actually being reduced! Having sampled this delight I set off for the shops and it was now that something odd and unwelcome happened.

My confidence and spirits had been high all day but now I felt my nervousness increasing and my self confidence plummeting. Quite why this was happening is hard to understand, but other trans women in my position agree that it is not unusual. The only thing you can do in these circumstances is to face it down and just get on with it. To make matters worse, as I arrived at Boots a large crocodile of school children arrived from the opposite direction, under the supervision of teachers, and stopped for an impromptu local history lesson outside the shop.

Groups of children are something that we tend to be wary of, mainly because of there lack of inhibition in the presence of something out of the ordinary. But given such a large group, even under supervision, I was dreading that some of them might pick me out and come out with unwanted comments. Consequently I was relieved to get inside the shop. I soon found he item I was after and as a bonus I also obtained a new eyebrow pencil I had been unable to obtain elsewhere. But when I went to pay I was a bundle of nerves and at one point found it difficult to get the money out of my purse.



Sunshine in Midhurst

The most annoying aspect of this "nervous attack" was the fact that it was entirely self-induced. There had been nobody causing me any problems - even the school crocodile outside Boots had appeared to ignore me. In such situations I find it's just best to push on and hope that my confidence returns. So I left Boots (crocodile still outside) and wandered up the high street taking in a few shops including the usual charity outlets and a general clothes shop which must one of the most over stocked and untidiest one I've ever been in.

Heading back down the high street I stopped at a coffee shop for a much needed latte. By this time my nerves were easing but still not as I would wish. But I wanted a drink and at times like this I find that determination often overcomes nerves. Once again I was treated well and I enjoyed my coffee indulging bin a spot of people-watching through the coffee shop window.

Afterwards I carried on back down the high street towards the car park with my confidence gradually restoring itself. The weather was still quite sunny so I took a little while to wander across the causeway towards Cowdray House ruins, and get a few photos.



At The Gate

From Midhurst I made my way to Didling and to pay another visit to the ancient little church there. I've been here a lot over the years and it is a location I enjoy visiting and spending some time at. The peace of the place has to be experienced and it always does me a power of good.

From here I enjoyed a steady drive through the countryside before starting to head back home. I called in at Uppark which is a National Trust property. I have been here before many years ago and it is somewhere I'd like to visit once more. But on the day of my visit it was still closed for the winter although I was able to enjoy a walk in the grounds.

My last stop before leaving the area was one which was to provide the only sour point of the day. The Weald and Downland Open Air Museum houses an impressive collection of old buildings and artefacts on a large site near Chichester. I've been here on previous occasions many years ago but never as Susan. I wasn't intending to visit today, but I knew the book and gift shop can be accessed without entering the museum and so I decided to stop there for a while and have a browse.

I'd been there for about five minutes and had worked my way from the books to the rest of the varied gifts on display. I hadn't found anything that I really wanted but decided to give the books another go before I left. Whilst browsing (and out of view of the sales counter) I heard one of the women there exclaim "it was a bloke!". Now, I might have misheard her, or she may well have been talking about something else altogether. But somehow my instincts told me that they were referring to me.

As it was I was on the point of leave and decided on the spur of the moment not to delay my departure. Later on, looking back, I wished that I had bought something, just so I could have given her the opportunity to look me in the eye, and perhaps prove that I am indeed a human being, after all. The description of me as a "bloke" is on reflection rather laughable. Even when I'm not Susan I'm hardly what today passes as a bloke. I don't go around with large groups of men, with a can of larger in one hand and a half eaten kebab in the other. And I don't dribble on for hours about football.

This is a place I've enjoyed many visits to in the past and their work is something I strongly support and feel that they do a terrific job. Their website is friendly and makes a point of welcoming all potential visitors, regardless of personal circumstances. It's just a shame I was made to feel less than welcome the first time I went there as Susan.

But I was determined I wasn't going to let this incident ruin my day and so I set off for home taking a route along the uplands of the South Downs. As I indicated earlier in this part of the county there was still evidence of the heavy snow that had fallen earlier - even to the point that once or twice I wondered if it was a good idea to be on a particular road.

There remained one last stop on the way home and that was at Sullington. I've written in the past about a previous visit here in an attempt to try and solve the mystery of why the name "Chantry" appears in so many local place names. Since my previous visit I've received information for other sources that there was indeed a Chantry Chapel in the parish church in the middle ages. So I went for another look, this time armed with the new information.

But this is really a subject deserving a blog entry of its own and therefore one that I will do another time. But for this day it had been, in spites of its ups and downs an interesting one and hopefully one that I'd learnt a bit from.

Thank you for reading this

Susan XXX